Old man thoughts while driving

Yesterday on the drive home from work I got thinking on Jo's post about the review of her life so far. While I am not going to do the same it got me thinking on what I have learned so far.
Quick Review:

Raised in Bountiful Utah.
Band geek in High school
Active in LDS Church
Served 2 year mission in Australia
Married 12 years
3 kids
3 miscarriages
Divorced
Married again a few years later (almost 11 years now)
Dealt with infertility the whole time
Worked/waited 3 years for adoption
Placed with Maggie 5 months ago

I have been fired from jobs and had to fire people.
I have had 2 companies close their doors. (Both with my wife and I working there)
Spent 7 months unemployed
Know what it is like to be passed over for promotions due to friends or family needing jobs.
I have been a janitor as well as the big boss.
Spent time as phone rep as well as a collector.
Have sat and worried where money is going to come from to pay bills.
Have looked at a budget to only find rent and child support being paid (no money for food, car, gas power etc)
I have seen my grand parents pass away as well as great grand parents
Had a friend die from cancer
Neighbor form suicide
Served in Church as a teacher, clerk, young men's, Bishopric and High Council
I remember black and white TV with only 4 channels
Remember when Sesame Street started
Remember when the Monkees were the biggest thing around.

Through all this I have come to realize that there are certain truths that have stayed with me:
1. Life is never so bad that you should not find something to smile about.
2. There is nothing more beautiful than the sound of a baby’s laugh
3. There is beauty in every sunset and magic in every rainbow
4. No other success is more important than what happens with your family
5. There is no job or title more important than “Dad” and “Husband”
6. True happiness and joy come form your family and your God
7. Only you know if you are truly honest.

Years ago 1993 to be exact, I wrote the following mission statement for a class with the Covey group. I said then that it needs to be on my funeral program. I still think it applies.

It is in a previous post dated Jan 2, 2008 on this blog

Just a few thoughts from someone who has been around awhile…

Gardening and Procrastination do not mix

Several weeks ago I planted the garden. It looked great! At that time I thought that I should take the time and stamp down the “Path areas” and add in plastic to help avoid the growth of weeds. I also made the mental note to get some snail bait to fight the snails that I knew would be showing up once the beans started to sprout. Well…true to my inner self I did not do that. So due to my procrastination (or as my wife would say my laziness) I have been spending the past couple of nights weeding and working and swearing at myself.
I used to admire my grandmas garden. It also looked great and perfect…now as I think back on it I remember her always in it or my grandpa working in it. “If you hoe a little every day it will grow ok”
Well I may not change. (I would hate to give such a shock to Nat if I did) but I will at least think about not procrastinate as much.

Maggie Update

Boy is she getting big and mobile. She hasn't started to crawl yet but she sure rolls and wriggles.

The other morning she was awake and I was not so we sat in the family room with her rolling around me and watching Higgly Town Heros. I have no idea why she would stop and watch scenes but she did.

I will update more a bit later but she is a very happy, social baby.

She is wonderful. Of course she follows Natalie in being happy and making me smile.

We went swimming and she loved it. Also I am proud to say she has started to blow rasberrys. It is a proud moment for a dad when his child learns how to spit properly.

Angry Green Gamma at midnight

Last night Randall, Cody and I sat at midnight to see the new Hulk movie. While I think I was the oldest person in the entire theater. (Midnight premiers are for the young). I really enjoyed the movie and the time I spent with my boys! Cody and I joked that we feel sorry for Randall’s wife (once he finds one) since he was so excited and into the movie. We also had one of Randall’s mission buddies there. As we were waiting for the credits to scroll through Randy was talking in detail to this guy about the history of the Hulk etc. Poor Hunsaker just sat there with a glazed look. Cody and I cracked up.
Don’t wait for the credits…nothing happens.
Anyway, the story was good and the action was defiantly a 10 on the geek scale.
So now we wait till Batman. (Even Nat will go to that one at midnight)

Picture Books

So lately I have been looking for kids picture books on adoption. I have found some that are good, most are so so (at least to me) but none hit the way I want them to. Being LDS and having adoption be the way our forever family was added to is hard to convey but I have not given up. I guess I will just have to write it myself.
I have started some ideas and I must admit that picture books are not easy to write. In fact they are hard, but I am up for the challenge.

Writing

I sit here in Newark NJ in a hotel and wish I were home. I flew in today for a 2 hour meeting with my client in the morning then flying back home tomorrow afternoon.
As I turned on the TV and browsed the channels I came upon the start of the movie "300".
I had almost watched it on the plane on my iPod but decided on Superman the Animated series instead.
I do like this movie. It is one of those that I can watch over and over again. I think I am drawn to the heroes in it. The sense of right makes might. This is the same reason I love the TV series Highlander and Sharpe. This sense of old time chivalry really touched me. I know if I had been born in the time of knights and all that I would probably have been a very poor farmer, but I would have taught my children that Might is not right and that the only reason to have power is to protect ohers...come to think of it I am doing that. My garden skills stink and my kids know the stories and the true purpose for the knights.
Wow, that could be really deep....but I am tired and the neat battle scenes are just starting.

Church

Well, today was a good Sunday. The regular Sunday School teacher was going to be out of town so he asked me to sub in. I love teaching Gospel Doctrine. I was closet to the spirit when I was teaching each week. I guess that because I also spent the most time on that calling. Even more than Bishopric or High Council. But I only have myself to blame for not staying close. It revoles around daily study and thinking or pondering.
After Church I got a call from someone saying a sprinkler had broken at the chapel. Then a few hours later I got a call saying the other chapel had the sewer backing up in the floor drains and into the bathrooms. Since I am over the physical stuff as my assignment for High council I get these calls.
All in all a good sunday.

Maggies 1st laugh

I got Maggie to laugh for the first time yesterday. It cracked me up and just almost made me cry. I know others will not think it that big of a deal, but I DON”T CARE! Maggie’s smile and her laugh make my day. (I still get a kick out of my older kids laugh as well. The only problem is they are usually laughing at me Just kidding)
They grow up so fast. So these times are extra special.

"Changed For Good."

In the musical "Wicked" (One musical I have not seen but really want to)probably the best song is "For Good". (I love the Cast album. In fact I will listen to that song everyday, I just love the mix of voices.) The line goes something like..."People come into our lives, for a reason, bringing something we must learn." Then later it says...I know I am who I am today because I knew you" How true is that statement! I have heard people say that every boy will remember his Scout master. (Mine was my dad so....) Others say that you never forget your football coach (I didn't play. I do remember my Jr High and my High School Band teachers). I am different for knowing certain people. Bishops, bosses and others have influnced me greatly. I even have an old boss that years ago influenced me more than any other person. He was a jerk and I so hated his style of management and how he treated people that I refused to be similar to him even one tiny bit.The people we have come in contact with during our journey to adoption have been some of the greatest people around. Faithful, willing and humble. The men I serve on the High Council with are very humbling to me. Most are recently past Bishops and I just love being in their midst.So if you know me...thank you for being part of what makes me...me>

Family time

Life keeps on going. Not much to report to any and all that might read this. Work keeps on going as do church callings and family life. Through it all it is the family time that makes it all worth while. Last night Nat had to go visiting Teaching and I had one on one time with Maggie. There is only one word to describe the feeling…Cool!
In fact spending any time with Nat and Maggie is the best thing I could ask for.
Guess you might say I am blessed!

Blessing of Tithing.

Ok I really truly believe we are blessed because we pay a full tithe. It isn't that we are spared problems, they are just placed at the best time for us. I was going to go to Juarez this morning but as I went to book it last month the best flight was set for tomorrow so I picked that one. Well every time I plan a trip out of town it seems that a disaster will happen right before. Before one of my week long ones to Monterrey Mexico several years ago the flex pipe going from the wall to the toilet sprung a leak. The swamp cooler has leaked twice. Nat's jeep acted up...well it died while I was in Barcelona Spain and her and my dad had to handle it. If you read my grateful blog you will see this trip tomorrow is no exception. If this crap had hit while I was out of town I know Nat would have handled it but I would have felt so bad. So this is the blessing of tithing we get in that the trouble hits when we can handle it, the car problems hit when we have extra money, other items requiring money being put out just seem to happen when a bonus hits or some extra picture money comes in.

Now I just need to get ready for another wonderful trip to Juarez Mexico. Good thing I am not driving this trip

Music have to haves

So music is very important to me, I know it is the same for others. So here is the question. What group or person do you have ALL their cd’s for?

I started out years ago having all of the following:
Monkees
Carpenters,
Led Zeppelin

Now I have the following:

Donny Osmond
Kenneth Cope
Afterglow
Michael McLean
Garth Brooks
Shania Twain
Alabama
Michael Webb
EFY
Jeff Goodrich
Trans-Siberian Orchestra



What about you?

Favorite Church Calling

Ok so in my long Church Life I have had the following callings (I know I am missing some.)

Through High School I was Priesthood chorister.
Full time Missionary (Australia)
Activities Committee and Chair.
Librarian
Sunday School teacher 14-15 yr olds and 16 – 18 yr olds
Finance Clerk
Membership Clerk
Deacons advisor
YM President
Gospel Doctrine Teacher
2nd Counselor Bishopric
1st counselor Bishopric
High Council

My favorite has to be Gospel Doctrine teacher. I loved that calling.
What are some of your favorite callings?

Second Pass (Refining)

Ok the second time I go through one of my poems I see if I still get the chills when I frist wrote the words, if not then i dump the whole thing or the part I think prudent. Then I get rid of needless words. At last I will read it aloud to see the flow and plan for the next pass. Here is the second pass on 4am feeding

4am Feeding
You grasp my finger
In your small hand
(Which is not like mineYet it fits.)
Hungrily you latch
lips on tight,
(Lips, unlike your
mothers,
Yet, we make
them smile.)
You gruggle, grunt
your special noises,
(which I encourage)
Stopping mid glup to
Open your eyes
(That do not match
mine yet reach
Into my soul.)
My mind hears
one small word
not in my voice
but yours,
Dad.

Very Rough Draft.

Thought I would write down the thoughts that have been bouncing around for a week or so now. Still needs work but this is the start of the process so I thought I would share the whole process from rough idea to first writing to revision and revision and then more revision.

4am Feeding

You grasp my finger
In your small hand
(Which is not like mine
Yet it fits.)

You hungrily latch
Your lips on tight,
(Lips that are not like mine
Yet I make them smile.)

You gruggle then
Grunt your special
Noises, (that I encourage)
Stopping mid glup to
Open your eyes
(That I did not give you
Yet they reach
Into my soul.)

I hear one small
Word in my
Mind that
You give to me
Simply
Dad.

Be your own Super Hero

"Chubbyman and The Gentleman save the city once again!"
ok so we aren't really super heros (or are we?)

So the past week I have been watching some of my favorite tv shows. The final season of Beauty and the Beast as well as reviewing some Sharpe shows and Robin of Sherwood.
I love the writing that has made these characters come alive for me.

(The picture was green screen from a recent Dance we took pictures at.)

I am a Slacker

So Randall stated tonight that I am a real slacker when it comes to my blog...well I hope he has good luck finding somewhere else to live...oh yeah and I need my laptop and back pack returned as well. Slacker...well, it is kind of true.
Ok so I will try to do better.

The perfect snack...raisins...those wrinkly little shriveled up great tasting treats. I love them. Not only do I eat my bowl of raisin bran each morning, but I love to buy the small boxes and put them in my back pack or desk at work.

So RAndall and Josh have been talking about live music or not live...most live albums now are re-engineered to sound better. Now go back to the old days. The greatest live album of all time was KISS double album set. Yes back in the daay when you had to be careful to not scratch your albums. ( I guess it is the same today with discs)
Oh well more ramble thoughts later.

Fatherhood (again)

Well it has been awhile since I updated this blog. I trust you all read Nats and know how great our life is. Today has been a good day, yet busy. Cody came over with Randy and spent the day. Nats mom and sisters came out to go to lunch...just the girls. Then tonight Jo and Josh came out. Last night we got together with My family for birthdays in Feb and it was great.
Family is good.
This morning we tried to get some "infant" shots of Maggie. She co-operated for a few frames then wanted nothing more...well there is always tomorrow.

The World feels right

Today I got a call from Cody asking what I was doing.

I said "working what are you doing?"

"Driving. "

"Oh Yeah where?"

" Grand Junction..." yup Cody came home today. He had everything packed into his car. It was so cool to see him and hug him. He held his little sister and just beamed.

Laurie Jo and Josh came out and Randy got here after school and it felt good to have ALL my kids here together.

Wow, I can't stop smiling! (I may even cry again)

Family tradition

When each of my kids were born, the first book I read to them was "Where the wild things are". Tonight we brought home our new baby daugther, Maggie Grace and that traditon continued, with a slight twist.

Randall metioned that he remebers me reading and rereading that story to him so he wanted to be the first to read it to his new baby sister. Wow I am so lucky. I will write more later but for now just wow.